Damn..
He looks around and feels disgusted to see the can of coke half-empty,still standing on the edge of the table.Its that can that he left last week,after eating a piece of Pizza for dinner.Is it half-full or half-empty ..he wonders.
Well,it depends on whether he wants to throw it or just forget about it upon gushing it through his thirsty throat.He looks into the can and then looks around to see if the area is polluted and there was any scope for any contamination.
Then thinks...Its probably ok..I don't think that small slot on the can's head would have let in any 'poochi' or deadly bacteria in the 4 days since when it was left open.
Once the can is empty,he dutifully throws it to the corner of the room and everytime he does that,if it lands into the dustbin,he gets a sense of achievement - as if that was the goal that was a decider in a world-cup football.But this time,'Darn it..It bounced off the rim and falls on the carpet,spilling the dirty brown contents.
Now,its time for the brilliant schemer,that is the mind to work out its criminal ideas.How do I mask that stain of the carpet without too much of work?He walks over to the spot,inspects the area and thats when his cellphone rings,which happens to be some wrong number.Just to make sure he doesnt forget to take action,he just stamps over the spot,spreading the liquid and apparently making a caumoflaging attempt.Two days later,he sees the area turn white and this he notices not because of the colour but because of a party that some ants are having on that landscape.
He curses himself - Shit!Now I gotto take care of both the stain and the ants!Double work instead of one single fucking chore of cleaning the carpet then and there!
Now thats when his abettor in crime pitches in.Why clean it this time too?He just pulls the vacuum cleaner and sucks the hell out of the ants in the area.He begins to think..Whoa..What kind of a twister like effect the ants might be experiencing now!What about the noise accompanying the air being sucked in?The ants might find it miserable he feels.His thoughts take a tangent as he thinks about those Jains who he saw on TV who swept the floors before they walked,lest they stamped and killed the ants.Just as he is starting to get compassionate with the ant community,he feels a sting on his left toe.One of the ants had succeeded in climbing the giant toe structure and had exhibited the audacity to even take a bite.He shouts..'What the fuck?You bloody ant?Who do you think you are?A suicide attacker apparently huh?He then blows the head of the ant with the blower part of the vacuum cleaner.The sense of victory that he has..Aah..Nothing can beat this joyous triumph.
He then goes to the computer screen and logs into his gmail for the 57th time that day.Feels disgusted to see real,good emails being sent into the spam filter and spam emails sitting right in the inbox.Immidiately sorts through all the emails and puts them in the respective folders.He then glances through the inbox and feels..'Shit...These mails in here are of no importance at all too.They are in no way better than the spam emails that I deleted.Most of these bear some software company email ids and are bloody forwards containing some proverbs and photos.Fuck these emails..He just deletes everyone of them and goes into the email trash can folder and makes sure he deletes them all once and for all forever.
How boring can it get?He starts thinking as he switches on the TV.4 out of the 8 free channels that he can watch for free on his TV are hispanic channels.He tries to figure out if there is anything worth watching in the other 4 English channels.Ones got some program- 'spiders found in Africa'..the other channel almost always has 'Everybody loves Raymond'..He thinks..Who the hell loves Raymond..Fuck it..The next channel has some crap in the name of a reality show..Then the last channel has the daily news and its full of shit with some serial killer who is on therun and is almost always suspected to be a hispanic or black guy! He just switches back to the hispanic channel and mutes the whole damn program and watches the watchable moving masses of flesh,in the name of women,dance their hearts out all through the show,with scant regard for what they are wearing or doing.
He just realises that since Friday evening that he entered home,he hasn't gone out of his house for about 48 hrs.And a thought goes in his mind..What the fuck?Almost 3 days and not a single soul bothered to call me or find out what I was upto?What a crazy world!Theres atleast 10 people I could call as friends and 100s who could be categorised as relatives,but then not a single person really close enough.He gets reminded of the old guy from the adjacent building that died in his chamber and lay there decaying for 6 days before the neighboring apartment's dog started smelling something fishy and brought it to the notice to its owner who then promptly!? informed the cops.Feeling shit-scared he picks up his cellfone and desperately searches for some number to call,just to make sure he hasnt lost his speaking skills since friday evening when he said "You have a good weekend" to the office security gaurd.
But then,who to call?
Mr.wfwefwe -No..That guy wouldn't even pick my fone...
Miss.REHHH? No way..Even if she picks the fones shes gonna spend all the time whining about her idiotic roommate.
He scrolls down on his cellfone and finds his American express credit card customer service number;Just calls them and asks for the monthly statement balance and other wierd stupid questions any ignorant idiot could figure out himself.He is amused when he finds that the person on the other end is an Indian lady,who seems to think that he couldn't figure out that she is an Indian and goes about calling herself something like 'Miss.Catherine Hallaway'!What the hell he thinks..But then hes pleased.Hes spoken to someone and that someone really cared for his questions and answered patiently.
He just jumps onto his bed and sleeps his way off to glory!
What a waste of life...The miserable life continues in his dreams too.Hes still asleep though.
-Raapi
Posted by rajesh | 
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