Oflate it is not so unusual to find so many of our Indian brethren scattered across all parts of the U.S,particulalry in certain states such as California and Texas.I could very easily foresee a day in the future when the population of desis might overtake the count of even the dogs,bees and holy cows of those states.Within a few years don't be surprised to find some of these things that I list below..All these are my figment of imagination.Bear in mind that the period I assume for such a scenario is around the year 2020..
First lets go through the places..
With Indians wellknown for their passion for nomenclature of places,it wouldn't be surprising to see
1)Shanta-Clara...Due to the increasing count of the 9 yard saree clad Maamis window shopping and bargaining along the roadside vegetable hawkers,the state recognised the need for giving these noble souls their much deserved recognition and dedicated the state's name to Shanta..the first Indian Maami who even came short of winning the governor's seat!
2)Michi-Ganesh..Due to the enormous procession of lord Ganesh that attracted the whole world to converge at Michigan on Vinayakar chaturthi day,the state had to succumb to the Desi junta's claims for renaming their state.They also decided to give the schools and Govt offices holidays for Hanumar Jayanthi and Shankar Dayal sharma Jayanthi..
3)Wiscon-singh..The state made a huge profit by selling flashy turbans alone...the pick of the masses was the playboy rabbit symbol bearing turban.The taxi driver association even came to a resolution that even the american taxi-drivers had to adhere to the uniform dress code of wearing a turban..Santa and Banta jokes were considered racial discrimation and Navjot Singh Siddhu's latest commentry during the NBA final was.."The lakers without Shaq-o-neil is like Pamela without the silicones...Both of them handled the balls well during their play..!"
4)Hari-zona..This state had an overwhelming congregations of ISKON worshippers ,who were even able to convince the african americans to join their tribe,by explaing to them that HARI in sanskrit meant 'Black'.This made many of the Chris andersons to become Krish andhra-sons and Harry Potter to become Hari putthar.
5)South Pakoda..The hot pakoda's sold on the roadside Iyer Bajji/Pakoda stalls in South Dakota bears testimony to this state's name.The stalls even have a low carb menu catering to the obese people of the area.The Iyer maama even came down to including tofu pakoda and chicken pakoda in his menu.The logic ,it seems behind the "vegetarian" chicken pakoda is that the chiken that it is made of, was a pure baradhwaja Gothram vegetarian one which fed only on rice and chapathis.
Now coming to the next major aspect..The food items..
Taco-Mani..the renamed fast food restaurant Taco-bell.Now it is under a new management by Mr.Mani.The burritos have ben changed to currytos with loads and loads of garam masala rich sabjis.
Kay-eff-cee:Kaakinaada fresh chapaathi..The best KFC in the US.Period.
Superstarbucks:Rajinikanth endorses the special blend of pilter coffee served in davaraa.There is all variety of milk..cows milk from NewJersy cows,buffalo's milk from Buffalo-NY,goat milk for the Gandhians,half and half,three quarter and quarter milk etc..
Olive Poonga.."When you are family..your are here!" is their revised caption.Many desis are seen devouring thier Kathrikaa Parmesian!
Miscellaneous aspects of USA2020..
BSA...becomes the official cycle of USA...Lance armstrong endorses the brand and even wins the "tour de Parry's corner" race in India,for the sixth time continuously.
Mango Frooti is sold in 300 ml cans.They even have a diet frooti and a low carb vareity called F2.
Maruthi Zen completes its 125 million sales in the U.S.100000 miles warranty and a free trip to India is an offer unbeatable.
Infosys buys Microsoft and Bill Gates heads the Indian office.His application for the post the post of Narayanamoorthy's car driver has been rejected.
Maniratnam releases his new Brook Bond movie titled "The world is not enough for Desis".Captain Vijaykanth,still looking young,acts as special agent Brook Bond and Paris Hilton plays his heroine.
Deva sues Bryan adams for copyright violation for brutally copying his original song "Shock adikuthu Sonaa".
Bangalore has a cap of 6500 visas for U.S based technical job visa applicants.The americans would have to go back to U.S to get their visa stamped and they have to fingerprint,lipprint and even leave their urinary sample for records at the U.S consulate.
Laloo Prasad Yadav teaches animal 'husband'ry at Harvard.He is stated to have planned on a railway project that extends from Jamshedpur to Jacksonville.
Just as all this is happening,Raapi is seen waiting in the 'Lunar counsellate' for visa to enter into the Moon.There are hoards of others like him,trying to escape from the desi-dominated parts of the earth!
-Raapi
Posted by rajesh | 
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