The smudgy rubber stamp ink on my passport still bears these 2 dates,for it was exactly 4 years ago,I started off from India to the U.S.A.Yeah..!4 long years its been since I left for my M.S,but it has not been so cheerful or memorable as the 4 years that preceded it.That was the good old time I spent at Tanjore during my undergrad study.
Now coming to some realisations and revelations..
I was speaking with my mom few days ago and as I was updating her about few of my collegemates getting married and few girls of my batch settled with their husbands and some even with kids,my mom blurted out that may be it was time they started looking for a bride for me.Pat came the reply from me which kinda put both of us in an awkward situation..I just said,"Amma..I am not sure abt all that..May be next year or later.Also, I am not sure if I want you to look out!".
When amma seemed confused from my reply and started saying,they would look out for the girl best-suited for me,I yet again kinda negated the idea saying.."Amma..seriousaa..I feel we've been away from each other for a long time and I don't think you would have any idea of what my future plans are and also even how I have been all these years,not to mention the fact that you are clueless as to what I might be looking in the propective bride!So..no urgency..Whenever I feel it is appropriate,I shall look out and let you know !"
Amma just digressed from the issue and did not show much interest or concerns , as she,like every other tambram guy's mom, happily assumed that her son was not capable of wooing any girl by himself and it would be the least of all probalities for him to produce a shocker in terms of his girl selection,which unfortunately happened to be true in my case too :((.Even my periodic short utopian stories of hanging out with girls or figments of imaginations of going only for a love marraige,never really concerned them and always ended up in a laughter riot both in the main phone that my mom used to hold and the cordless phone through which my sister used to overhear :(!
On my part,although the previously mentioned conversation in italics seems to show an iota of arrogance and over-estimation of my capabilities by myself,I felt I had a valid point.Dwelling more upon it in solitude,I just realised that its been around 8 straight years that I have been away from a family based system,i.e,I have been staying by myself,with no one really aware of my day to day activities.My family's opinion about me is solely based on how I portray myself.I dont even have friends who are close enough to my family that they update them about me and my actions.
Sometimes I wonder if I have missed out a lot of happiness having been away from my family and if so,was it something that was thrust upon me or did I myself make way for such a situation to be imposed upon me. Sometimes I also wonder if I am not recognising the freedom and happiness that this solitude life has endowed me with,being away from controlling parents/nagging friends/irritating relatives!Well,this is an issue with an entire gamut of explanations for itself and hence shall be blogged later separately..
Returning to the idea of letting the parents select a girl,I am still not convinced what factors they would look into?What would be their idea about their son?In the 24-25 years of my existence,1/3rd of my life has been spent away from them,1/3rd has been spent with them memorably and the initial 1/3rd ..I dont even remember anything of that phase!It is not me alone..I know and have heard many friends of mine feeling the same way.Every article about India showers praise for its great family system and arranged marraige system.But then,is it relevant to the current generation of families where the kids seldom get a chance to stay with their parents?
I am sure that every guy who enters the 26-27 year phase goes through these radical ideas,but then its not too long for one to return back to normal state from the excited state.I am reminded of the phone conversation of one of my friends..When his mom and sister tried to pull his leg saying.."Sriram..so hows U.S?Its been 2 years in the most happening land and hope you would have got your girl by now..",Sriram very humbly replied(Read in vivek's tone for maximum effect :)):"Amma..Neenga paatukum en maela ivlo nambika vechundu..Agasmaaaaaaaaatha irunthudaatheengo!vathalo/thothalo..kaanjatho/maenjatho..Neenga paathaa thaan undu!:("
Let me put an end to this directionless blog now.The past 4 years , albeit boring,has been a significant era of my life in terms of my achievements and I should feel happy and give ample credits to my parents and wellwishers who have always been of great moral support.I should also give kudos to myself for having been choa chweet..chamathu..good2many and bad2none for the most part:)!
-Raapi
Posted by rajesh | 
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