I promise I would indulge in selfless bouts of charity from hereon.But if you want me do so..Can you please make sure you can do some of these easily doable so-called 'Godly' acts..?
1)The next time you send the excess water from heaven or hell as rain,Can you inform me well before???..so that I can station my car well out in the open to get washed.It would be great if you added some soap to the water and sent it down at high pressure at periodic intervals followed by dustless windflow ,but then I know I would be asking for more.
Jus remember...all this I ask just with the sole purpose of saving and donating that 13 quarters that I would be able to save from the car wash station.
2)The next time I go to the laundry,can you make sure the washing machine doesn't illegally gobble up those extra quarters,that it shouldn't have stolen from me in the first place.All I ask you is to make sure that my 75 cent wash is done at the cost of 75 cents and not at an added cost of 2 more illegal quarters ,which I promise I would donate.
3)Can you make sure the parking meter returns those extra quarters that I deposited?Everytime I park at the downtown,I throw in 5 or 6 quarters for a solid 1 hr parking and when I am done with my work,I find that there is 25 more minutes left,which I won't be needing.I demand an action from you to give me back 25 or 33 cents whatever it is worth,which would go to the homeless man at the next traffic signal.
4)Can you make sure that the local Indian store here doesnt rip me off those quarters with every purchase in their store.Now cmon..How can the smallest pack of the old_almost_expired 'Parle-G' biscuit be worth 3 quarters,when everybody there knows that it used to cost not more than an old_almost_extinct crumpled 5 rupee note in India?If you cut down its cost by even 1 quarter,I promise it would go to the AID/ASHA hundi in that same shop,for the betterment of India.
5)Can you make sure that the phonecard companies don't mercilessly rip me off almost 2 quarters every call I make to India?Can you make the process less cumbersome,without those '6 seconds rounding off' fundae,which they come up as an explanation for cheating me of those few cents every dollar!
6)Can you make sure your greatest of all creations-The Taco Bell,doesnt charge me that extra 50 cents for substituting beef with refried beans on my Chalupa.Even if you are not able to do anything abt it,please send me an email explaining the reasoning behind this cruelty against the desi community as I have cracked my brains trying to do the cost analysis behind killing a cow and cooking it/refrying mashed beans-which one is more expensive??
7)Can you take some online course somewhere and try to come up with an explanation for my telephone bill?I really don't understand the list of charges.What they promised me when I signed up was 29$ and 99 cents monthly charge and when I get the bill,I am appaled to see all the small cents added on the basis of city tax/service charge/surcharge/regulatory fees etc etc.
8)Finally,let me end the way it started..abt my car!There is a saying."water ..water everywhere but not a drop to drink".On the same lines.."air..air..everywhere but never always present in my car-tyres".Why can't you blow in to the tyres often and make sure it stays at the 32 psi always.That will definitely save the 4 quarters which the old-age home would get from me.
So..please Gawd..take some actions soon..Every cent I get cheated,adds to the charity amount that the needy are not getting from me!Remember...few quarters make a dollar!!wow..what a revelation!
Posted by rajesh | 
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